A Six Point Guide to the Best Man Speech
The best man has so many things to worry about, getting the groom to the ceremony on time, not losing the wedding ring, and, perhaps worst of all, standing up in front of the entire wedding party to give your best man speech. As the big day approaches, you’re likely to lose sleep and stress out over it. But if you start thinking about it now, and get that speech written, and yes, rewritten a few times, you’ll be able to relax and take care of your best friend on his day.
Here’s a guide to writing a best man speech that actually lands.
Think About Why You’re the Best Man
Think back on your entire relationship with this person. How you met, what you guys share, and most importantly, who they are to you. That last part is the most important to convey, how you view your friend and how you want your audience to view him. Also, remember that you’re the best man, you’re not the one marrying him, so include some anecdotes or shout outs to the bride too.
Make It Accessible
No inside jokes. This doesn’t mean you can’t tell a funny story, crack a joke, or mention a nickname you’ve given the person. It means your entire audience wants to enjoy the speech, so let them. A speech that opens with an inside joke only five people actually get loses the room fast. Make sure everyone is in on it.
Keep It Clean
Save the raunchy stuff and the swearing for the bachelor party. Great Aunt Mildred does not need the full story, and depending on the crowd, dropping even a few swear words might not land the way you think. If you need a benchmark for what to avoid, George Carlin’s famous “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” is a pretty reliable list of what to leave out entirely.
Share the Accolades
You might be his favorite buddy, but plenty of other people contributed to this day too. Take a moment to thank the other groomsmen, the bridesmaids, the maid of honor, and of course the bride and groom’s parents for raising them.
Keep It Short and Sweet
Write it on notecards, bullet points at minimum, so you don’t start to ramble, or arrange a signal with a buddy in case you go off topic. Nobody wants a half hour best man speech, they want to eat. Keep it mostly positive, too. Teasing your friend is fine when it’s just the two of you, but ragging on him excessively in front of everyone he loves just comes off as mean spirited.
Speak From the Heart
This might be obvious advice, but it’s obvious for a reason. A speech that isn’t perfectly polished but is heartfelt and genuine beats ten well written, distant ones. Feel free to quote something meaningful, especially at the start or end, but don’t turn the whole thing into a reading, and don’t try to copy anyone else’s style. Be yourself and talk about your real feelings. Tell him you love him, that you’re happy for him, and that he’s your best friend in the world. There won’t be a dry eye in the house.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should a best man speech be?
Most best man speeches run two to five minutes. Long enough to say something meaningful, short enough that the room stays with you the whole time.
What should a best man avoid saying in his speech?
Skip inside jokes only a few people will get, anything too raunchy for a mixed crowd, and stories that embarrass the groom more than they celebrate him.
Should the best man speech be funny or serious?
Both, ideally. A speech that’s all jokes can feel hollow, and one that’s all sentiment can drag. The best speeches mix a genuine story with a few laughs along the way.
When should the best man start writing his speech?
As early as possible. Giving yourself time to write, rewrite, and practice out loud makes a huge difference compared to writing it the night before.
Conclusion
A great best man speech isn’t about being the funniest person in the room. It’s about actually saying something true about your friend, in your own words.
If you’re planning the wedding itself, not just the toast, Aaron’s Key West Weddings can help you build a Key West ceremony your whole wedding party will remember. Call 305-295-0137 or complete our contact form to start planning.
